What-EVER!

Tripping Down My Camera Roll Lane

I feel like Jane Austen, writing this post by candlelight. Hearing the crickets chirping in the moonlight and the wind rustle through the leaves. Then I think to myself, “Holy Shit! I can’t live like this!”

The truth is, I’m writing this post on my phone (so excuse any typos you may find) right after Hurricane Irma paid South Florida a visit. I have no power. It’s hot as balls in this house and the truth is that the fucking candle I have next to me is actually making me hotter. I just came inside less than 25 minutes ago from charging my phone in my car and I’m bored as hell so I started looking through pictures on my phone and thought that I would give my readers a glimpse into my camera roll.

Let’s starts with this outtake from Hurricane Irma. Keep in mind, I’ve had about 2 Rum and Cokes by this time- so did my mom on the right:

I like to call this look Hurricane Chic. Notice the key elements are frizzy hair, unkept eyebrows and sweaty skin marked by no less than 3 zits. I expect this look to top off Fall Fashion Week in New York.

Next are what we here at the Rodriguez house call Hurricane Supplies and is what primarily contributed to the 10 pound weight gain that occurred in the last 3 days.

Anyone else like Bottlecaps? I feel like they are unsung heroes in the candy world.

A car selfie from last week. I have been digging the minimalist look with a bold, red lip lately. I’m a little perturbed by the forehead wrinkles, but whatever. I’m forty!!!

I know it seems like I need a tan too, but I don’t tan. I freckle!!

Logan and Sofia pretending to love each other during Sofia’s birthday celebration at Brio.

Trust me, there is more slapping than hugging with these two.

My new Netflix obsession, Riverdale. Anyone else think that Archie is hot as hell??

I actually sent this pic to my mom because she has a thing for red heads. She agreed that he was “Muy Caliente!”.

Family picture from my 40th Birthday dinner. I love that top. It’s from Old Navy. You’d be surprised how much of my wardrobe is from Old Navy.

My husband had been recently diagnosed with Bells Palsy so that’s why he looks a bit crooked.

The outfit that I ordered from Modcloth for Halloween. I cannot wait till it arrives although with this stupid hurricane, package its probably delayed.

I plan to wear these cute black patent leather heels with a bow and ruffle at the front. I’m going for an updated Wednesday Adams look. I think I may also do a post on this if it looks halfway decent on me.

A sample of some Rodan + Fields Skincare that my friend, Nury, sent me. Between the forehead wrinkles and chin zits, I’m thinking now is a good time to try it.

She also sent me a bag of little mints, but I ate them before I snapped a picture. I’m such a mint whore. The more peppermint the better, I always say.

My kids photobombing my selfie. Sofia is constantly reminding me that I’m no Kim Kardashian, so stop with all the selfies!

Notice Logan in the background looking all sinister. I worry about that one sometimes.

And last, another selfie from Instagram. I was trying to promote on of my blog posts on Insta stories and tried to sound all sophisticated, but kind of just look like the Monopoly guy in drag.

Hope you guys enjoyed a trip down the Camera Roll lane.

Till next time, my friends.

Maritza

What-EVER!

#Whatever Wednesday

#Whatever (as in What-EVER!!) Wednesday is an Instagram Series where I showcase products that are Fails or Meh and not worth my time.

Two weeks ago there was an AWESOME Almay coupon in the Sunday paper. Buy any eye product and get a free Almay product of lesser or equal price. I don’t really own anything Almay, so I thought this would be a good way to get to know the brand.

I head on over to Walgreens  and peruse the Almay display. I have to buy an eye product in order to cash in this deal, and looking at the selection, nothing is really calling out to me, except for an eyebrow pencil, which is not part of this review because it was actually decent, and a pen liner.

Hmm…pen liner? Take this literally, my friends, because the tip of the pen is actually like a ballpoint. I thought this was really cool. One of the things I struggle with a typical felt tip liner is the pointy tip. Really awesome when you want to make that wing, but acts like a little shit when you are lining the lid. You know what I mean? The tip is too thin, so you have to kind of use the flat side to add some width to the line?

Bingo!

I think we found the winner.

Whatever Wednesday

I choose a navy blue color just because it’s not black and I figure if it’s free, might as well go outside my comfort zone.

Next day, I decide to put this puppy to the test and, I don’t know whether I got a bad one, but I opened the cap and the “ink” was all over the place. Omen #1.

I proceed to do the first eye. Color was decent and, just as I expected, the line came out even and thick in just the right spots across the lid. I blink and the product smears on the top of my lid. Omen #2

I clean it up and try again and wait a bit to let it dry before I blink and then proceed to do the wing. I make the flick and NOTHING! No product was on the eye. I shake it and test it on the back of my hand? Product shows up.

WTF? Is the side of my face waterproof or something?

Omen #3

10 minutes later and by the miracle of God and all the Catholic Saints I am supposed to know the name of, I somehow manage to create a wing. Another 15 minutes and the other eye is done. I already know I hate this product, but I decide to soldier on.

I finish getting ready and dressed and head out the door. I have to go to my daughters school for her Honor Assembly and I want to look like the Hot Mom 🙂 . I get in the car and flip the mirror down to check the look in natural light and…Mother Effer!!! The freaking eyeliner is basically gone! The wing has disappeared and the color along the lash line looks watered down and patchy.

This eyeliner is the Devil.

Honestly, thank goodness it was free because it would be a total waste of money.

Have any of you tried any Almay products that you love or hate? If so, comment below.

Till next time, My Friends!

Maritza